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Have a wonderful day today. As soon as the roaring thunder of approval eased, he pointed at me and said, She doesnt have any questions.. Tell me how you know her again? he asked. There are no words here, I thought. I asked Sooki if she had any interest in trying psilocybin. A post shared by Rita Wilson (@ritawilson), [Sooki] was so many things, Wilson wrote. How had I not asked her all these things before? Then Sooki and I went to the kitchen, mixed our pre-measured packets of mushroom powder in with yogurt, and poisoned ourselves. Wait and see. Not to advance your cancer treatment? They reviewed her records together. Marriage also meant that I would listen if he tried to talk me out of it. I scooped up a handful for no reason and carried them with me. Jessica Everett, a genetic counselorat Perlmutter Cancer CentersPancreatic Cancer Centerat NYU Langone, encourages people in this category to look into possible screening options. We waited. The day I picked up Sooki from the airport in February she told me she would need to buy dry ice for Wednesdays. I lost her for a while, and then she was back again. Given Patchetts astonishing gifts as a storyteller, others embraced it but with reservations. Would you just paint us a picture of her? She kept to herself, sleeping and painting, trying to wrestle it out. We went out to the street on that bright morning to see a fire high up in the distance. Where I was going was death. Probably it was some combination of the two. More breath. The day after that she came upstairs wearing a sock hat. . I knew I would write about Sooki eventually, I had told her so, but I had no idea what Id say. Sooki exuded such an air of self-sufficiency that I scarcely thought to worry about her. feb. 8, 2020: I have wanted to writeevery dayfor forever. I promised to call when it was over. What was the line of childrens clothing called? Every day Sooki came upstairs looking spectacularembroidered jeans, velvet tops, a different coat, a perfect scarf. I told him. But the clinical trial she needed was here in Nashville at the hospital where my husband worked. Patchetts good intentions to help a stranger she took a liking to cant be separated from her self-promoting instincts to make a story worth writing about. My husband, Ken, will come down for at least part of the time, once Ive started chemo, and I may have other visitors, so I think I will explore some other options in the area, but I cant tell you how touched I am that youve extended the offer. No events scheduled for January 19, 2023. A few weeks later Hanks' publicist asks if she will fly to Washington, D.C., to interview him as part of his book tour. Sooki said shed heard about it, too, and knew other cancer patients whod tried it, but she was hesitant, as any right-minded adult would be hesitant about adding the X factor of fungi into an already complicated chemical mix. Maybe I would find the fight in me, but I was never much of a fighter. We just kept sitting there in the stillness, the kind of dark that electricity wants us to forget ever existed. KELLY: Well, it's really, really true, so it was a pleasure to get to say it to you instead of just pining to my book club about how I wish you had another book coming out. The thought of Tom Hanks benefiting from my assistance struck me as funny, and then I forgot about it. The problem wasnt how the trip would be organized, but what it meantpandemic, cancer, ninety-four. Assistant Sully (2016) Assistant Bridge of Spies (2015) . While they were gone I tried to imagine it: the cancer back, the wallet gone, strangers. Where was Sooki? You always feel this way on Friday., Thats what Im here for, I said. We miss you. We knew it. KELLY: Wow. This is how we arrive at the next chapter of the story. The months shed lost not being in chemo while they struggled to locate the new tumor had put her perilously behind. Id love to do your audio book! I would be gone for the night, and once I got back my friend Emma Straub was coming to visit. I was leaving the next day for an event in New York. Then as the world was ensnared by a global pandemic, the two friends formed a pandemic pod. In a piece for Harpers Magazine called These Precious Days, Patchett told the story of their friendship and spoke of her admiration for the paintings Raphael created at her home. Sooki was coming as a patient, and more than a little of the work was going to fall to him. She looked at me. How is it possible? I said as I complimented her again and again. I flew back to New York for two more events, the first one in Connecticut. Her sisters were in, her mother was thrilled. She painted and slept and did her work; she had her Zoom meetings and her Zoom gatherings with friends. Curiosity is the rock upon which fiction is built. And he said, oh, well, ask her if she wants to send me her files. Sookis two sisters, one in Connecticut and one in Massachusetts, could meet them there, a family reunion at the airport. Would he think to tell me if something had happened? And there I was, going nowhere. People die of this.. We went to the bakery across from the bookstore and bought spinach-feta bread and cinnamon-raisin bread. Click here to dismiss this module permanently. PATCHETT: I really, really appreciate that. Her CA 19-9 was 170, down from 2,100 when she arrived in February. I dont want to give that up., Youll never have to give up the friendship or the love, I said. We said our goodbyes and Adrian and I walked downtown to see what had happened. Im going to have to have my hair cut, she said. And this led to you meeting Sooki. ROSEGALLERY is presenting These Precious Days, a solo exhibition of paintings by Sooki Raphael, on view from 10 April until 10 May, 2021. Its just. When I was very nearly at the end, I came to a beautiful lake, the kind youd see on a Japanese postcard, or my imagined picture of a Japanese postcard. Jennie and I walked our dogs together after dinner, and Sooki came with us most nights, unless she had a phone call to return, unless she wasnt feeling up to it. Our writers hold no party line; their only allegiance is to clarity of thought, elegance of expression and independence of opinion. She would pour color into my inbox for a while and then be gone again. View Sooki Raphael's business profile as TH Assistant at Playtone. Would you just paint us a picture of her? And I'm always taken aback because it feels a little like asking a parent, who's your favorite child? Thought-provoking commentary and opinion on politics, books and the arts. A post shared by Sooki Raphael (@sookiraphaelartist), What came out of her brush was a feast of colors and stories that she had kept in her heart for years, feelings that were just waiting to explode, the post read. My friend told us we should wear eye masks and cover ourselves with blankets. And now there was a pandemic, recurrent pancreatic cancer, and so this goodbye reminded me of my father coming onto the plane with us, sitting with me and my sister, the three of us sobbing inconsolably until finally the flight attendant would tell him he had to go. Actress & Fitness Guru Jane Fonda, 85, Says Chemo Hit Me Hard Fighting Lymphoma Years After Breast Cancer, Rock Band Kiss Co-Founder Peter Criss, 77, Male Breast Cancer Survivor, Releases New Version Of Classic Dirty Livin, For Healthy Skin Month, Take Advice From Vanderpump Rules Star Ariana Madix, a Melanoma Survivor, and Speak Up About Concerns, You Can Overcome, Says Rebecca Crews, 56, How She and Husband Terry Crews Got Through Losing Their Home, Five Kids, And Cancer. assistant Sooki Raphael. Sooki of the magnificent coat. Karls friend Dr.Bendell knew Sookis oncologist at UCLA and her oncologist at Stanford and her surgeon at Duke. Of course we could. All the neighborhood dogs began to howl and bark. Sooki had twice flown down to Mississippi with us to visit Karls ninety-eight-year-old mother. Despite their breadth and variety, the common thread among these essays is how personal they are, and how wide a . I asked him how he would feel about my extending an invitation to stay. No one had ever been so welcome. There were no words because it wasnt about words. Before I can start writing a novel, I have to know how it ends. But over time the idea drifted to the back burner. She was teaching at Bennington, in Vermont, and this was the first day of classes. You decide. We laughed at the simple optimism but we also caught ourselves listening. A month later, I still hadnt seen all the clothes she had brought with her, and I never saw the cold caps. Can you imagine Tom sitting at home saying, I cant believe Sooki used my connections to get into a clinical trial in Nashville?, No, of course not, Im just telling you. We were in this together. Raphael found great beauty during a tumultuous time of her life and shared that beauty with others through her artwork. He agreed, and then kept finding reasons to go to work anyway. In her tribute to Raphael, Wilson pointed to her friend as proof that it is never too late to explore your creative passions. We were standing in the kitchen in the late afternoon, the time before dinner and between two yoga sessions. Subscribers can find additional help here. You all did a book event. Sooki wore a leash as a child, the energy in her tiny frame too much for her mother to control. PATCHETT: So I first met Sooki Raphael backstage when I was interviewing Tom for his collection of short stories. We had finally found a completely comfortable way of being together. He responded: mar. Everything was planned so far in advance and my spring was packed with speaking engagements. 17, 2019: Hey! Ive heard writers say that they write in order to discover how the story ends, and if they knew the ending in advance there wouldnt be any point in writing. a link to a 20,000-word story in Harpers, New book relives chaotic 2020 news cycle in a good way, A Black descendent of Thomas Jefferson brings her ancestors out of the shadows, Amazon releases its best books of 2021 list: 'An embarrassment of riches', Your California Privacy Rights/Privacy Policy. Heres how the story came about: Patchett was invited to interview Hanks while he was on a book tour. My continuous and varied relationship with exercise was an inheritance from my father. But before her passing, she had a long career in the film industry which included her time spent as Hanks assistant before indulging her passion for painting. Sooki, in her eye mask, was lying so serenely beneath the furry blanket she had brought us from California that I wondered if she was dead. I miss our emails. My friends who had tried it all had positive experiences, new books extolled the virtues of seeing the beauty and connectivity of all life, and there was a chance that this experience, coming so far out of left field, might be just the thing Sooki needed. Sister Nena shook her head. Sooki Raphael leaves her canvas as colorful as she has led her life. That night I tried to explain it to Karl. I wasnt looking for permission, but it was a matter of mutual respect. Could I say that I would like to come see her? It has to be one of the most extraordinary stories of lockdown how Tom Hanks's assistant Sooki Raphael, undergoing treatment for recurrent pancreatic cancer, came to be living in the basement of the novelist Ann Patchett and her husband Dr Karl VanDevender. I had liked her coat very much, those pink peonies as big as my hand. Im supposed to be flying.. PATCHETT: Yes. Patchett is so 100 percent a writer that you get the feeling that her life doesnt happen unless she writes about it. The more literary essays include an introduction to the stories of Eudora Welty (No writer I know of tells the truth of the landscape like Welty); pieces on book covers (I finally knew how to ask for what I wanted I would send my books into the world wearing the best suit of clothes I could find); childrens stories; sitting next to John Updike at a lunch at the American Academy of Arts and Letters; and perhaps my favorite, To the Doghouse, on literary influences. Her love and passion and beauty will continue to live in her paintings, and in all of us who were privileged to have entered her world. My friend Sister Nena had just called. He wanted to know why I hadnt told him this. Wonderful Sooki! I cleaned out the freezer and the refrigerator and at every moment thought, We are so lucky. But any story that starts will also end. Sooki and I kept up a sporadic email exchange once the audiobook was done. No, Im fine. He wasnt listening. We can go up and back the same day.. Want to change your email address or password? And I found maybe five other kids who had done the same thing and decided that I was going to make Thanksgiving dinner. Of course we would exercise together; it was good for both of us. I had to listen to what she was telling me. She lugged her suitcase out to the car without my knowing it. He told me he was going to take his grandsons to the river to go boating. I once invited the daughter of a woman who ran a lecture series in Pittsburgh to live with us when she found a job in Nashville and couldnt find an apartment. They clearly didnt understand she intended to walk, though knowing Sooki, she probably could have carried it. On the few mornings she didnt come up at her usual time, I imagined her sick, needing something, not telling me because she didnt want to bother me. It was so important, she said, her voice pretty much vanishing in her mouth. Enter your new information and click on Save My Changes. In a recent post made to her official Instagram, the caption echoed this sentiment of Raphael sharing her unique perspective of the world through her art. I would tell you we were idiots, but thats true only in retrospect. I didnt want to be one more person tugging at her coat, but I was. We didnt know each other, and for the most part our correspondence had come after this defining fact. I couldnt stay upright, a hangover from the last eight hours in which I had been quite memorably deboned. We were sitting in the den at 7:30 am. No empty spiritual space. It was late and Id just finished the novel Id been reading. Karls cousin was visiting from New Mexico, sleeping in the other guest room. How could there still be so many things I didnt understand when our time was nearly over? Its why I dont like to go to other peoples houses for dinner: I never want to tell people Im a vegetarian. I will keep you more closely posted as I move ahead (in the right color shoes). The title piece in the autobiographical essay collection These Precious Days by Ann Patchett is about her unexpected friendship with Tom Hanks's personal assistant, Sooki Raphael, who ended up living with Patchett and her husband in Nashville while enrolled in a medical trial for pancreatic cancer. By the time the book is written, there is little evidence of the initial spark or a long-ago conversation in California Pizza Kitchen. And when I was young, the two things that were unbelievably expensive were long-distance phone calls and plane tickets. For them the mystery is solved by the act, and I understand that; its just not the way I work. Its like youre going home to the Ukraine for the first time in ten years, I said as we loaded up coolers and bags. All day long Sooki emailed me pictures of her family with the subject line Where is our other sister? Sooki Raphael . In her last two and a half years, Sooki started painting. Ive never seen a storm come up so fast. He leaned forward over the porch stairs. I couldnt muster whatever it would have taken to follow her, but I could hear the music fine from where I was, Greckis Symphony No.3, Arvo Prt, pieces I had loved and would love no more. I was packing boxes, writing cards, and making cheerful videos in which I extolled the virtues of the books I loved. Everything was lined upexcept Sooki didnt want to go. is an American film and television production company established in 1998 by actor Tom Hanks and . Sooki got her flashlight and blew out the candles. You must have Mary Poppinss suitcase.. You can be certain that she loves the job. I dont have any questions, I whispered in the darkness. Sooki had two young grandchildren in San Diego and made plans to bring them to an event I was doing there, but they didnt show. She had a son and a daughter-in-law with two children who lived south of her and a daughter and son-in-law who had recently moved north. We could all be boring together.. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. We still had customers even if they couldnt come into the store, and they were fantastically loyal. Click here to dismiss this module permanently. She sent updateschapter eight now, chapter twelve. I dont take notes. I flew to New York early the next morning, took a car to New Jersey, signed several hundred books, attended a cocktail-party fund-raiser for the Book Industry Charitable Foundation, gave a talk in a crowded town hall, got to my hotel room in Manhattan at midnight, got up in the morning to tape a segment for the Today show, then was back on a plane. College was meant to be rigorous, and so she signed up for animal behavior instead. She liked herself again. When does the story start and when does it end? She and Ken put what mattered most in the car and started driving, waiting to see which way the wind would shift the wall of flame. She made props for TV shows. What had been a theorySooki should come to Nashville for her chemowas now a fact. Will time be linear or can it stutter and skip? Coping after the loss of a loved one to cancer is never going to be an easy journey. I have to know where Im going, otherwise I spend my days walking in circles. Pay Im a good packer. She told me she had packed for good cheer, having had the reasonable expectation that times would be hard and cheer a necessity. There are suddenly people everywhere. She had wanted her life to be different, and now it was. Because if I didnt know that Sooki had a husband, how much did she know about me, about us? Later that day we sat side by side on our yoga mats, Sookis head wrapped artfully in a scarf. She lit up with all that breath. They would flow on in papery layers, in a creation act. Small, flat islands of boiled wool were resolutely attached to her scalp by the 2percent of hair that had not fallen out. It was such a short trip it hardly counted as being gone. I went to the grocery store and piled up the cart. How do you get back on the plane to come home? Afterward we sat up at the hotel and talked about this new coronavirus and whether the rest of her tour would be canceled. As it turned out, Sooki and I needed the same thing: to find someone who could see us as our best and most complete selves. Giant hackberries had fallen into maples and split them in half. There was no hesitation on the canvases, no timidity. It came out of nowhere, like one of those weird storms that had plagued us in the spring. Ann Patchett and Tom Hanks' assistant? Most days I went to work at Parnassus for several hours, filling boxes. It turned out that Tom and Rita came to town something less than regularly but more than I would have thought. Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process. It was a minor footnote considering everything I got from Karl, but still, the warmth of it, the love: to walk in the door after a long two days and see that someone had imagined that I might be hungry knocked me sideways. Can empty houses help solve homelessness? I went by myself. Just you and Karl?, I thought about it for a minute, shook my head. I chart your emotional life.. They were dead, the wires, werent they? She was Batgirl. Im afraid if I leave Ill never see you again, she said in a voice I could barely hear. There is Tom Hanks's deceased assistant, Sooki Raphael, protagonist of the title essay that went viral a few months ago when it was published by Harper's, who had gone to Nashville for her . Twenty-two sessions down and six to go. To the best of my knowledge, she never quit. That night there was still no power, and so we lit candles. She made the time, stitching days together. She told me she had gained back the twenty pounds shed lost after the last chemo but she couldnt have weighed a hundred pounds now. Im just wondering if you got in the habit of not talking about yourself because of the work you do. I told her about a friend of mine who worked as an assistant for a hedge-fund manager in New York, and how she parked every piece of herself at the door when she went to work in the morning. We wrote about painting because she painted. . He already knew. The trees were down but not the houses, and the trees, from what I could see, hadnt fallen on the houses. But once we had finished that first short practice, she turned to me, blooming. Never want to see this again? I woke up the dog and the three of us left in the darkness. That was the point of everything. Maybe Niki was right about my life being different, but maybe thats because I tend to think of things in terms of story: I pick up a book and read it late into the night, and because I like the book, I wind up on a flight to D.C. This is a great read. The cell-phone case also served as her wallet, containing her credit cards, cash, IDs, insurance cardseverything important. He figures out problems that other people have tried and failed to solve for years. Save me. Shed worked on a documentary about George Romero called Document of the Dead (she was a zombie in Dawn of the Dead). Except it was Sooki, and I liked her very much. Much love. I was having trouble with my own volume now. This whole time Ive gotten it wrong. But months later there he was again. So it really was what they said, a definitive spiritual experience? Shed seen people. I asked her whether she had ever been to Nashville before, and she said yes, once, with Tom a long time ago. Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson lost their friend Sooki Raphael to pancreatic cancer earlier this year. Sooki and I needed the same thing: to find someone who could see us as our best and most complete selves, writes Patchett. - which, you know, I could not possibly choose. But the doctors say, as they expected, the cancer is back, and they are ready to start up chemo again. Karl spent a huge amount of time studying weather as part of his instrument-rating prep. We will never know all the things other people worry about. With every passing day I seemed less able to say, Do you want to talk about this? That I would like to meet her in the way I had wanted to meet my pen pals as a child? Im sure these words cant adequately convey what was such a radiant message, but it stayed with me so strongly as I woke up during the night, and thats the best I can describe it. PET scans) were showing no sign of disease. Up and down the street the lights clicked off; our house went dark. I was taking in every precious day. Putting together a novel is essentially putting together the lives of strangers Im coming to know. I feel great. She liked to fly. Its a wonderful thing to be able to go back to something thats a couple of years old, see the flaws in the fullness of time, and then have the chance to make corrections and polish it up or in some cases, throw the whole thing out and write a better version., A second theme that emerges is the central role women have played in her life, from her sister, mother and grandmother to the nuns who presided over her K-12 education; the largely female staff of her Nashville bookstore, Parnassus Books; and classmates in college and grad school, including the late poet Lucy Grealy, whom she befriended at the Iowa Writers Workshop and later memorialized in Truth and Beauty., 'Reclamation':A Black descendent of Thomas Jefferson brings her ancestors out of the shadows, Not to say she gives short shrift to men. From her patio, she could watch the planes take off and land. PATCHETT: Right. The other partners in his clinic asked him to stay home and practice telemedicine until there was a better sense of how the pandemic would be resolved. I went upstairs to get the scissors out of my sewing basket. She was supposed to wear a complicated Velcro gel pack (unfortunately called a penguin cap) on her head on the days she had chemo. Then this: june 21, 2019: As of last week, my six-month chemo run is done, and I had a follow up CT scan. We did our best to pretend that what we were doing was normal. You two go and Ill have dinner ready by the time you get back. It was the practical solution, and so they left. The power was out for four days, those rarest of days in Nashville when it was neither too hot nor too cold. You are powerful. There was an abstract image, and it was clearly younot in a physical way, but as a soul. I caught an early flight home. Paintings by Sooki Raphael. I was an introvert again. Sooki Raphael: These Precious Days RoseGallery Santa Monica | California | USA Apr 10,2021 - May 10,2021. And so I just relied on a book to get me through. We hadnt paid the check. I get asked sometimes, who's your favorite author? Simply put, Karl makes rain. She was twenty-one. It's by Ann Patchett. I tried to imagine chemo while living in a hotel. No outfit ever showed up twice. My whole life Ive wanted this time. Wed had a very good life. Once I start writing things down, I feel like Im nailing the story in place. A tremendous explosion rocked the house, something far beyond thunder. But I think Ann is the saint in the story. She had to make her train. I said, I have access to every article of clothing I own and I couldnt pull myself together to look as good as you do going to chemo.. Then she went downstairs and went back to sleep. Sooki had brought her computer with her. 2023 USA TODAY, a division of Gannett Satellite Information Network, LLC. On her last night we sat in my office after yoga and I asked her every last question I could think ofwhen did she work on the documentary about George Romero, and when did she marry Ken? Subscribe to the World edition here. MRIs! Do you ever miss being alone in your house? she asked me once. A transformer must have blown up somewhere close by. I now knew that shed had a Whipple at Duke and twelve rounds of FOLFIRINOX followed by twenty-eight days of radiation over five and a half weeks at UCLA. And she couldn't fly because the flights were canceled. But everyone showed up, all four hundred of them packed in side by side, every last chair in the ballroom occupied. Karl was standing in the doorway. What if there was some strange alchemy in the proportions that could never be exactly measured and, as a result, she lived, only to die at some later point from the thing no one saw coming: a pandemic, tornadoes, a straight-line wind. Karl and Sooki came in the back door together in the middle of a conversation.
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